(NY) I’m seeking some advice about how to best regain/establish my legal identity, which has been kind of “hazy” for much of my life. My mother, with whom I am not close but not dramatically estranged, made a number of decisions, some of which were legal but inadvisable, others intentionally or unintentionally illegal, that have resulted in my not having access to legal ID documents. All the names here are false and just given to make the story easier to follow.
I was born “JaneSmith” after my father’s death. (in NY, USA). In the hospital, my mother refused to list him as “deceased” on birth certificate documents, calling it “depressing.” (The inaccurate birth info becomes part of the story).
Several years later, my grandparents filed for guardianship (I lived with them about 50% of the time), and my mother, claiming that they had “tried to adopt” me, married her boyfriend. My new stepfather legally adopted me, making him my father, my birth records were sealed, and I now had the last name “Jones.”
Throughout my childhood, my mother collected social security benefits in my name due to the death of my biological father, using my original birth certificate (“Jane Smith”) while my school and medical records accumulated under the name Jane Jones. My stepfather was convicted of drug trafficking and spent some years in federal prison. My mother was not charged for any criminal activity such as money laundering or concealing assets. It is likely that she would have been convicted if this had been pursued, but I do not know.
At some point during my stepfather’s sentence, my mother decided she no longer considered the adoption valid and went back to using Jane Smith as my name, and my bio father’s info on anything official. In middle school, I changed my first name to the name I still use today (“Mary”). Thus, from having a childhood’s worth of records as Jane Jones, I was now known as Mary Smith.
When my stepfather was released from prison, he and my mother divorced when I was 14. While their younger (bio) child was listed in their divorce settlement, I was not, and somehow it was believed the adoption was no longer relevant or in effect. However, after turning 18, I entered into 15 years of confusion and drama surrounding a legal identity.
I had my own child at age 22, and as the hospital used my official post-adoption birth certificate, I am listed on that child’s birth certificate as Jane Jones
My secondary school records use the name Jane Smith.
With some legal help regarding the first name change, I began to use Mary Smith exclusively. My college records use the name Mary Smith.
I was married and took my husbands last name becoming Mary Bates. My marriage license, second child’s birth certificate, social security card and voter registration list me as Mary Bates. At this time, I have enough ID to get me onto a domestic flight. Last year, when I applied for a passport, I discovered the following:
There is no birth record for Jane Smith, as it was sealed at the time of adoption. While I have an ancient hard copy with official seal, it can’t last forever and cannot be replaced. I cannot get a birth certificate for Jane Jones, as I have no legal documents proving that I am or was ever known as Jane Jones. I have no name change certificate for my first name, and have been told I cannot get one retroactively. I cannot get a passport.
Does anyone have any ideas for what I might be able to do? This entire situation is complicated by the social security issues, collecting benefits in my name after my adoption, the false info on the Mary Smith birth record, the adoption... my mother is a very dramatic person, and has bipolar disorder. Discussing this situation upsets her or causes her to go into elaborate and florid stories about it. A number of things that she told me as a younger person (“you have a special secret number the government assigned you instead of a name”=social security number) were part of this mess of drama—true, I suppose, but phrased oddly. I do not want to cause trouble for her or any other family. I want a passport.
Does anyone have any ideas about my next steps? I currently live in MA, my birth, adoption, marriage and Children’s births took place in NY. My mother and bio father were legally married overseas.
Written By: missivyblack
Source: http://bit.ly/2IMbLbp
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