My [28m] family insists on forcing my grandfather [78m] through medical cancer treatment and acts infantalizes him, take away his choice, and he's too sweet to stop them but told me privately he just "wants to die with dignity in his own house"

My grandfather has been getting forgetful for a few years now. He practically raised me when I was a kid and has always been the strongest and most capable man I've ever known. He was a naval officer for decades, he ran companies, he was an avid traveller, a sailor with his own yaght winning many races. He was a handyman who built his own house from scratch, who could fix anything, do whatever he set his mind on. He was involved in civil rights. He could hear a piano tune play and immediately recreate it even without any formal training whatsoever.

Now for years this brilliant man has been trapped in a body that is increasingly weaker and more frail. It breaks my heart. Last week when I visited him, he took my hand in his hand, pulled me closer to him and said: "I'm not afraid to die. But if I do, can you make sure it's in my own house, in my own bed, and with dignity?"

I hate the way my mother, father and cousins, uncles and aunties talk about my grandfather and his condition. Not to mention my grandmother who for years has overfed him on pills and medications half of which I'm sure only made him worse, more desoriented and weaker. They infantalize him. They treat him like a big child. Like someone with hardly a will of his own. No respect.

He wants to die with dignity. If the cancer gets worse, chances are he will be put in a hospital. Surgery and chemo may cause his mind to deteriorate at a faster rate. Which would be the worst thing they could ever do to a proud and strong man. Just because he's forgetful at times does not mean he is a child without a will of his own.

Now my grandfather is the kindest soul you could imagine. And my grandmother's word is everything to him. He will go along with whatever she says, even if it's not what he wants. I have no allies in my family, which is quite large and loves my grandfather to death, to the degree that they overlook his quality of life and his own choices. They're blind and deaf to any arguments I make and at the same time I have a hard time talking privately to my grandfather without my grandma being present.

TL;DR: My grandfather has cancer. His health, mental and physical, is in decline but he wants to die with honor and dignity and it looks like my family won't allow him that choice.

EDIT: My location is Louisiana.

Written By: NippleyHussle
Source: http://bit.ly/2G82B7x